2020 was a big year for me. As I write this in 2024, it’s funny to think about the difference in my life from four years ago. The same amount of time between 2016 and 2020. The person that I am today is more similar to the person that I was in 2020, when compared to the person I was in 2020 and 2016. This is likely a function of getting older, maturing, growing into myself.

Also, the following happened in 2020:

• I moved into my own place in 2019. I had lived by myself as an adult in a city before, but at my parent’s house + in apartments my parents paid for – either in entirety or in assistance. This was still new and exciting in 2020.
• COVID-19 started in March (and directly led to this project being created in a form similar to what it is now)
• Engaging in protest + civil unrest as a result of the murder of George Floyd
• Dating a magical person (Adlir)

These events all had a large impact on me, but the most impactful was spending time with Adlir. Despite being considerably younger than me, she showed me a different perspective on the world that looked at it as much more “magical” than I did. She looked at the world in a way that treated it as much bigger than I did. I felt like it was easy to compartmentalize parts of the world into manageable pieces, whereas Adlir looked at it more holistically.

Compartmentalizing is one of the most effective skills in navigating the world – there’s too much going on to be able to make consistent decisions that drive you in an intentional, consistent direction, to make progress on things like:

• a network
• a craft
• a body of work

However in doing this, you deny yourself the opportunity to experience all that you could see. Which is better? It’s hard to say, but once I saw this perspective it’s been hard to go back to compartmentalizing, there’s so much that shines. Balancing having a focus on what direction you want to go and all that’s shiny in your periphery is difficult.

Had I not dated Adlir, I would be a very different person today. I’m forever grateful to her.

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